Autopsy of A failed Xros Over Part 3Posted: October 30, 2014
Drafts 3 and 4 this time, as they were….rather short.
DRAFT 3. Let’s do the TIME WARP AGAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN
This time, I took Draft 2’s concept of Kayaba making Aincrad a separate world….and rewound to that time to start the story there.
I went to the beta, reworked the Shino/Saya conversation to have Saya being an associate of Kayaba, and recommending the SAO beta test to Shino.
There, she ran into Kirito and Argo, and they became fast friends when some people grew rowdy at being informed by Black Gold Saw that they really should have read the NonDisclosureAgreement which mentioned the nanite thing and—whoops. Conflict 1.
Skip to the launch day, and Keiko is about to get her contest won copy of SAO from the store when Mato swipes it from her hands in the store.
Mato then proceeds to violate the Nerve Gear & SAO TOS’s by intentionally breaking the connection between her waking self and other self– ERRROOOOPS. Conflict 2.
Silica gets in, and meets Dead-chan, and then….
I stopped. I just stopped. Know why? Mentally, I left Silica’s personality at age 16 like the previous drafts….even though she was now physically 12. Idiot.
This draft was just NOT going anywhere useful. The main conflict in this draft and the next, however, were the same.
DRAFT 4. Earth-That-Was!Verse
Shino’s post office robber? Mato’s dad. Also, a LC Member in this draft. Shino runs into the forest; goes missing, ect. ect.
SIX YEARS LATER, Aincrad as a Seed Ship, 2025 years after launch. 50+ floors have been abandoned to the wilds, and the Cult LAUGHING COFFIN commits unstoppable acts. Why? If you kill someone with their tattoo, your life is going to end within a day. Or so the rumor goes. Turns out Lux-chan, a former LC member, figured out a loop hole and when she found Shino that day, she turned her into a WW to escape the curse!
Keiko, Karlieah, Bryn, and Takato are now 13 and are going to go explore the lower floors for the fun of it, but not without being prepared for anything dangerous that might get in their way. So Karlie decides to turn everyone into WWs before they go down.
I sound like a broken record, don’t I?
Oh, also, Pina was going to be called “Silica”, and was going to be a shape shifting dragon who copied Keiko’s body build so that way I could use the earlier Dragon-Girl designs from Drafts 1 ‘n’ 2.
For both of these Drafts, Mato was going to stumble upon the fact that Shino was her dad’s killer, and would ‘break’ just a bit. She’d want revenge, and after some general antagonizing, she’d go for an all out attack.
Draft 4 woulda included some Aliceization characters in it, but…meh.
By this point I just ran out of steam on this project.
What was I thinking? I guess I wasn’t, all things considered. I should’ve dropped the WW thing after the second draft. Really, I should have. But nooo… I had to carry that idea through every single draft. >_<;
So yeah. Failure in every respect of the word. The Fourth Draft was BARELY BRS at all. I didn’t even HAVE anything written beyond what’s there.
I suppose that IF I were to finish this, the first draft would be the best to use. … maybe throw in the Mato’s Dad was the Rober plot thread? Would give Rock some more motivation in that draft…I guess….
Sigh. IDK. I’m just done with this. If someone else wants to pick up the pieces you’re welcome to it.