Xros Wars AU 02 — CH23

We begin CHAPTER 23 With a musical cue!

Blackness, that was all that could be seen before two spheres of radiant light appeared in the void. One a shimmering sphere of blue, the other a dark, tainted purple.

From the purple sphere emerged a blinding, golden meteorite, smashing through the darkness, and impacting the blue sphere.

A dulled, Golden symbol, covered in dark paint and deep scratches rose from the sphere’s surface, appearing as the Zodiac symbol of Cancer. Energy and lightning sparked off of it as it forced it’s light to shine through the paint.

But then, two more lights emerged from the sphere, swirling together, and fusing into one with a brilliant, emerald light as they zig-zaged through the air, forming a glowing Triangle, emitting as much light as a green sun potentially could do.

Delta.

It began spinning like a drill, and pushed itself forward towards the scratched symbol- a Flash- and it finally broke free of the paint that constrained it as it’s golden light shone brilliantly and healed all of it’s wounds.

But the Emerald Delta was not finished, it gathered symbols for Fire, Wolf, Sound, Health, Magic, and Cat around it, and launched across the void for the dark world, now being orbited by eight distinct symbols.

Sound Broke off from the Delta and transformed with the same golden Light, transforming into the symbol Omega, it pushed back against the First of the eight, and from within, a new symbol- a Z with a slash through it’s center- emerged from within, combining forces with Delta and Omega to destroy the first symbol. More symbols, Speed, Star, Air, Life, and Chessboard, joined with the rest, and together they pushed against the second of the eight glyphs.

This sequence is yet ANOTHER of Akari’s dreams- different, however!

Fist off:

Blackness, that was all that could be seen before two spheres of radiant light appeared in the void. One a shimmering sphere of blue, the other a dark, tainted purple.

From the purple sphere emerged a blinding, golden meteorite, smashing through the darkness, and impacting the blue sphere.

This is the Digital World and Earth- the golden meteorite? That’s Xros Heart’s ‘banishment’ at the end of the Code Crown Arc.

A dulled, Golden symbol, covered in dark paint and deep scratches rose from the sphere’s surface, appearing as the Zodiac symbol of Cancer. Energy and lightning sparked off of it as it forced it’s light to shine through the paint.

Cancer — 69

This symbol is associated with both Tactimon (as you’ll see later on multiple times) AND Gumdramon’s evolution. The Paint represents the mask that Tactimon has to wear as a Bagura commander.

But then, two more lights emerged from the sphere, swirling together, and fusing into one with a brilliant, emerald light as they zig-zaged through the air, forming a glowing Triangle, emitting as much light as a green sun potentially could do.

Delta.

The two lights are Akari and Lopmon- Digi-Xrossing and then evolving into DeltAntylamon- who I’d already sketched up as being Delta Themed by this point. Their associated color is an EMERALD GREEN.

It began spinning like a drill, and pushed itself forward towards the scratched symbol- a Flash- and it finally broke free of the paint that constrained it as it’s golden light shone brilliantly and healed all of it’s wounds.

Note I say “Scratched Symbol” here- From the VERY BEGINNING of DeltAntylamon’s concept- she was ALWAYS going to have the finisher “Record Scratch.”

But the Emerald Delta was not finished, it gathered symbols for Fire, Wolf, Sound, Health, Magic, and Cat around it, and launched across the void for the dark world, now being orbited by eight distinct symbols.

The gathered symbols are foreshadowing WHO gets banished here- Fire (Taiki), Wolf (Dorulumon), Sound (Shoutmon), Magic (Wizardmon), and Cat (Tailmon). The Eight distinct symbols are the Seven Lands plus the Bagura Empire HQ Land.

Sound Broke off from the Delta and transformed with the same golden Light, transforming into the symbol Omega, it pushed back against the First of the eight, and from within, a new symbol- a Z with a slash through it’s center- emerged from within, combining forces with Delta and Omega to destroy the first symbol. More symbols, Speed, Star, Air, Life, and Chessboard, joined with the rest, and together they pushed against the second of the eight glyphs.

This is the very first arc of Seven Swords/Death Generals being spelled out here:

Sound (Shoutmon) transforms into Omega, and then ZekeGureimon’s symbol appears.

Together they work to destroy Dorbickmon.

Akari woke up with a headache. “Guh…”

The first thing that came to mind was that- yet again- she had had a strange dream. Those were particularly annoying- especially when they were the vague, symbolic kind. She frowned. She hadn’t had a vague, symbolic dream since she had been a young child- Which- she supposed- she was now.

“Looks like the she’s awake.” Said an unfamiliar voice.

“Akari?” Suddenly Sparrow. All she could see was the girl’s face.

The girl blinked. “Whu…?”

“Akari, I need you to stay with me here.” Sally said, trying to keep her attention. “You’re going into shock right now. Feel free to panic. I need you to stay awake here!”

“Huh…?” more confused blinking.

Suddenly, a hatted face. Who did this guy think he was? A wizard?

“Miss Hinomoto.” Hat guy said. “My name is Wizardmon, and I need you to pay attention here.” Oh. So he was. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

Her eyes were drawn down to his chest instead- Did he know he had a Code Crown around his neck?

Akari is NOT lucid here- as evidenced by her dreams being heavily symbolic.

*cue Title Theme*

Shinobi Zone Laughs! Double Code Crowns?

Episode title: simple enough. What it’s referring to is Wizardmon’s necklace Code Crown (for Witchenly Zone, referenced to by Tactimon in the last chapter, and vaguely before then in Dorulumon’s “Traitor!” Reveal episode).

Xros Heart were currently gathered in a relatively small, but over-crowded, village- Home to the Natives of Shinobi Zone, Monitamon. Several in particular were pacing outside of one particular hut- home to Witchenly Exile, Wizardmon, and his familiar, Tailmon.

Said familiar, however, was currently evicted due to the delicate nature of Akari’s situation, and had settled in for a long night outside. “Meehhh!” Tailmon, which was the female variation of the Gatomon species, yawned. “Last time Wizar’mon got a doctor’s job like this, I spent three weeks out in the rain.”

Shoutmon paled. “I hope it doesn’t come to that!”

“Me either…” ChibiKamemon stared down at his feet. “I hope Akari-onee-chan get’s better soon…”

“We’ll be ready for a ‘welcome back’ party though!” Dondokomon grinned, trying to add some humor to the situation. “Jade and Rose are working on a song right now!”

Terezie, the PawnChessmon, sighed as she drew in the dirt with a twig. “Honestly, I’m hoping we won’t be waiting around with excess downtime for three weeks.” she threw the twig down. “I’ve been on edge since we escaped from Arkadimon’s nest.”

“We aren’t moving until Taiki gets back.” Shoutmon crossed his arms. “We don’t know the full extent of the situation here.”

“You mean with Akari?” Terezie asked.

“I meant with Bagura.” Shoutmon huffed, but relented. “But now that you mention it…”

“You two are pretty close, aren’t you?” Tailmon asked.

Tailmon, being a Cat, is pretty observant, and also is playing catch up with Xros Heart’s emotional standpoints. She, and Wizardmon, are basically pulled straight out of the Manga. Tailmon is not the same kind of cat that we see in Adventure- but she could very well be had they grown up in the other’s situations!

We get some subtle characterization between our characters here. Not much to say about it otherwise.

We cut to Taiki- where he and Chibi-Bastemon are conversing with the village elder about Bagura’s demands!

MEANWHILE_ _ _| THE ELDER’S HUT_ _ _|

“I see…” Jijimon said as he made his first appearance in several chapters. “That’s not good!”

“No, it’s not, Moni.” The Monitamon elder sighed. “Broken Pixel Bad, is our current level of danger.”

“That’s horrible!” Bastemon gasped as she heard the news. “They kidnapped your princess!”

“Yes, same pixel size as you, not a Voxel lighter!” The Monitamon elder nodded.

Taiki, whose lap Bastemon was sitting on, closed his eyes and sighed. “They really mean business then?”

“I’m afraid so, Moni.” The elder nodded. “The Code Crown by the end of the week- Tonight- or else they kill her.”

“Isn’t there an easier way to get the Code Crown?” Jijimon asked.

“I’m afraid not.” The elder shook his head. “The Code Crown’s guardian is from the order of the Goddess’s Warriors, and nobody has been able to make him laugh, as per the Code Crown’s requirements!”

“Quite a conundrum.” Jijimon sighed.

“We’ll have to try to get it then!” Bastemon stood up (much to Taiki’s annoyance) and clenched her fists. “We’ll go make this Karatenmon laugh if it’s the last thing we do!”

Basically it’s the usual “Kidnapped Princess” Scenario.

Omega and Z circled each other, combining strengths against the second of the eight, where one failed, the other succeeded. Their loss was their victory, and their victory was their loss.

Finally, The Second of the eight symbols shattered, and the rebellious lights continued on towards the third symbol. This time, Speed transformed into the letter Sigma as a Heart joined their group of lights. The third symbol fluctuated under Omega and Z’s combined strength, but it was Sigma who delivered the finishing strike.

More Dream plot revelation- with some actual plot relevance. Speed turns into Sigma- This is Sparrowmon.

Akari’s eyes slowly opened as she woke up once again. The headache was gone, and she didn’t feel as tired as she had been.

“Akari?”

She looked up. “Yeah?”

Sally smiled with a sigh. “Thank goodness.”

“Hello there.” Wizardmon held out his hand. “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Wizardmon.”

“Hi.” She took his hand and shook it (grimacing when she noticed how small she still was). “I’m Akari.”

“Hinomoto, correct?” The Wizard asked.

“Yes.” She nodded.

“Good.” He smiled, although it was hard to see through his cape’s collar. “What was the last thing you remember clearly?”

Akari closed her eyes and thought back. “Waking up in Arkadimon’s nest.” she said after a moment. “A Digimemory was the last thing I saw before I blacked out.”

“Anything between then and now?”

“No.” She shook her head.

A glance towards Sally didn’t go un-noticed. Neither did her subtle nod. “Seems like your short-term memory hasn’t suffered any, then.” Wizardmon said after a moment. “How about long term?”

“I…” Akari paused at this. “I can’t remember my Dad’s face. My Mom…” She wrenched her eyes shut. “Mom…Dad…Why… Why can’t I remember them…?” she sniffed. “Why can’t I remember what they looked like?” tears. All of the tears. Oh noooo…

Wizardmon sent Sally a worried glance, and the girl quickly gave their shrunken General a hug. “I’m going to assume the best.” he said after a moment. “And that once we get you back to your human form, everything will come back.” Akari was still crying, but, thankfully, she nodded, indicating she was listening. “Now, Uh…” He sighed. “I’m no good at this.”

“Gee.” Sally said, deadpan. “Ya think?”

This is plot critical- Akari can NO LONGER remember what her parents look like! It’s a devastating blow to her confidence, and she’s not really sure if she can bounce back from this. This makes her singing the song her mother sang in the karaoke endings a bit sadder in hindsight.

Akari can remember a silly *song,* but not the face of the person who sang it.

This makes her eventual reunion with her parents all the more sweeter once she actually finds them again.’

Nene Amano yawned as she walked out of the Monitamon Village’s local doctor, who gave her a clean bill of health, in regards to the events over the past few days, and only ordered that she get some rest. ‘As if I haven’t had enough of that already…’

With a sigh, she looked about the village. “It’s been a while.” she said to no-one in particular, a slight smile on her face. “Hasn’t it?”

Part of her expected Echidna, whom she now shared her brain with, to have said something in reply, but… all that came was silence.

She sighed. Of course, the Shademon that had been Xrossed with her was the only reason they had been able to converse in the first place. And now that it was gone…?

Well. The Most they’d be able to do now would be dream sharing, at least. Ever since they’d been forcibly De-Xrossed, both had been worrying about what was happening in the same dark void, waiting for one or both of their personalities to wake up dominant.

Nene glanced about. How HAD they gotten to Shinobi Zone? Obviously they’d won in Dust Zone if they were here. But what about DarkKnightmon? Was he dead? And what of Kotone? What had happened to her? And Cetus, if she had been awakened?

Thankfully, a familiar face (well, two, really) rounded the corner of the street just in time to answer these questions.

“Nene-san!” Zenjirou cried out as he and Lila ran over to the girl. “You’re up!”

“We were just coming to check up on you!” Lila grinned.

“Genjirou and Lilly, right?” Nene asked.

“Lila.” The Lillymon corrected.

“Zenjirou.” The Kendo master crossed his arms.

“Right sorry.” She bowed. “My memory’s still a little blank in places.”

“It’s allright.” Lila smiled. “At least you’re better off than Akari is!”

“Akari?” Nene blinked. “What happened?”

“She shrunk.” Zenjirou said nonchalantly. “Down to a little kid again!”

“More than that.” Lila said, more seriously. “She shifted into some kind of half-human half-digimon hybrid!”

Nene stared at them. “Just what exactly happened while I was unconscious, again?”

We catch up with Nene- who is now awake! On the flip side of the Digital World- we can now assume that Kiriha as well is awake.

Nene- without any influences from DarkKnightmon- comes off as a kind girl. She’s a bit at a loss as to why she can’t talk to Echidna anymore (Probably the Denizen’s cold aloof “I shall not interfere” attitude re-surfacing), but she doesn’t really care at the moment. All Nene wants to do is catch up to current- much like everyone else by this point!

“Taiki!”

The boy general looked up as he, Jijimon, Bastemon, and Knightmon walked out of the Monitamon Elder’s hut. “Huh?” Immediately, he spotted Zenjirou, Lila, and… “Nene!”

“Taiki-kun.” She bowed slightly, worry clearly displayed on her face. “I just heard about Akari.”

“She’ll be fine.” Taiki smiled at her. “Sally and Wizardmon are taking care of her.”

“Wizardmon?” Nene blinked. “What’s he got to do with this?”

“Wizardmon’s the guy who gave Sally her shape-shifting spell!” Zenjirou explained. “The same spell that got copied over to Akari!”

“What?” the girl jumped, startled.

“Ugh.” Hephaestus groaned. “Look, can we keep the repeating discussions to a minimum for now?” Nene’s eyes widened at the sudden voice change, but the Denizen continued on regardless. “We’ve got a lot to discuss and everyone’s scattered all over right now. So for the sake of repetition, can we please wait for everyone to get back together before we go out and plan?”

“Oi.” Lila said, hands on her hips. “Just because you’re one of the Digital World’s gods doesn’t mean you get to boss us around!”

Taiki sighed. “My idea, actually.”

“Oh.” The flower girl took a step back. “Sorry.”

Hephaestus is getting his fair share of word count in now- of all the Denizens, he’s pretty much the “Main Character” of the four. As such- his plot armor would appear to be greater than the others.

It is not.

Nene- as this scene reminds us- has adopted this Zone as her home, with Dust Zone’s tower being more of a ‘base of operations’ than a home for her. Nene has grown up with this Zone, so she knows who people are! So when Wizardmon gets a mention, Nene picks up on it!

They ran into Wisemon next, who was discussing the non-functional Red Xros Loader with Lopmon. “Ah! Kudo-San, Hephaestus-Sama!” Wisemon bowed curtly. “Good afternoon!” Then, his eyes caught Nene. “ah! Lady Echidna, Good afternoon.” he bowed a bit more fully.

“Thanks.” The girl blushed at the over-indulgent bow. “But I’m still Nene… Echidna’s locked away inside my head right now.”

“Ah, Give her my regards then?” Wisemon offered.

“Sure.” She smiled.

Nene says this without being sure that she CAN do such a thing. Even so- she has NO CLUE who Wisemon is! For her, he’s pretty much just appeared out of thin air!

“Good to see you’re up, Nene.” Lopmon smiled.

Nene nodded. “It’s good to be up.” she frowned though. “Sorry about Akari.”

“I’m more worried about the Xros Loader right now.” Lopmon grimaced. “If we can’t get it working again by the time She’s back up on her feet, we’re screwed!” She turned towards Taiki. “No offence or anything, but having only one reliable Xros Loader is a major set back.”

“What about my Xros Loader?” Nene asked, fishing around in her pockets for the black device.

“I tried upgrading it to work with our Wrister signals.” Lopmon said. “But it’s been as dead as Akari’s since we pulled into Shinobi Zone.”

“I haven’t been able to access their core programming either.” Hephaestus said as he held out Nene’s Xros Loader. “I’ve got an inkling that Dork Knightmon used some sort of virus slash safety measure that, if he ever died, the Xros Loaders would stop working.”

“That’d be a plausible theory, Hephaestus-Sama.” Wisemon said as he watched Nene take her Xros Loader back. “But Xros Heart’s Loader died sooner than that, from what you’ve told me.”

“Hm, Maybe It’s a retro-virus?” Lopmon theorized. “Then again, Kiriha’s would be giving him trouble too, if that were the case.”

Theorizing on the Xros Loaders being broken. They are inconsistently broken at this point of the story and nobody knows why.

“BLAH BLAH BLAH!” Bastemon cried out as she jumped onto Taiki’s back. (‘Claws!’both Denizen and general winced.) “Enough chit-chat! I wanna see Akari!”

“Now now!” Lila scolded the girl. “Remember what I told you about being a better princess?”

“Don’t demand. Politely request!” The Princess repeated in only a -slightly- mocking tone.

“Tone! Young Lady! You need to work on that tone!”

Knightmon couldn’t help but laugh. All those many days ago when Princess Bastemon (the elder) had given them the task of teaching The (younger) Princess to be a better leader, he had never expected these kind of results, what with all the fighting and battles going on.

CLAWS!

This scene also proves that Lila- for whatever reason- has fallen into the roll of “Teacher” for the young princess! This is pretty much her off-screen roll fulfillment for Xros Heart after Lake Zone’s conclusion.

Soon enough, everyone was gathered outside of Wizardmon’s hut.

“So what’s the plan?” Dorulumon asked, curled up around Lopmon and Cutemon. (The former still tinkering with the Red Xros Loader.)

“Shinobi Zone’s Code Crown is held by one Karatenmon.” Knightmon explained. “The Code Crown only transfers ownership when the challenger makes the owner laugh.”

“Karatenmon is also a part of Beelzebmon’s order.” Taiki continued. “Meaning we’ll have a hard making him laugh with the training that entails.”

“Sounds rough.” Shoutmon grumbled. “So what do we do?”

“We’re going to split up!” Bastemon said, a cat smile brewing on her lips. “Half of us are going to go to Karatenmon to get the Code Crown, and the other half are going to investigate Bagura’s hide out!”

“The Monita-fort!” One of Nene’s Monitamon explained as he pointed towards a rather large building in the distance, topped with TV screens on the top showing a pointed rooftop instead of actually having said pointed rooftop. “It’s the capital of Shinobi Zone, and the Princess’s place of residence.”

“Bagura has kidnapped the Princess and is currently holding her hostage within the Monita-Fort.” Knightmon continued. “I personally will take half of the PawnChessmons to investigate their defenses along with the Monitamon Elite Ninjas.”

(“Moni!” All three of Nene’s Monitamon thumped their right fists onto their hearts.)

“Zenjirou, Dorulumon, Starmonz.” Taiki said. “If we aren’t back with the Code Crown by the time the sun begins setting, you three are going to infiltrate the Monita-Fort and rescue the princess.”

Knightmon is the one to layout quite a bit of the plan here. Why? The guy could use some development here, for one thing.

“Shoutmon…” Taiki turned towards the Dragon. “I know you don’t want to leave, but…”

“I’m not going.” Shoutmon crossed his arms.

“I’m going to need you with us.” Taiki pleaded. “If it comes down to a fight for the Code Crown, You’re our only center with Akari down.”

“It’s not like we can form Xros Five Knight without Dorulumon.” Shoutmon said. “So why bother?

“Because we’re taking Ballistamon, The old man, the Drum, The Princess, the Thief, Lop’, Cute’, Hangyo’, and the flower girl with us. We’ve got enough for a pretty strong Xros right there, when you factor in Dorulumon’s training with Cute’ and Hangyo’.” Terezie said, and, raising a finger before Taiki could interrupt, continued. “I’m coming with.”

“I’m coming too.” Nene said, stepping forward. “I want to make myself useful after everything DarkKnightmon put me through.”

“Sparrow and Wizar’ are stayin’ here.” Tailmon said as she entered the conversation. “So I don’t have anything to do. You can count this cat in!”

Shoutmon tried to say something to protest leaving again, but was cut off by Bastemon. “Fine by me!”

“One of the Monitamon villagers will be leading us to Karatenmon’s home.” Jijimon threw in his two cents. “So that’ll be one more on our side.”

Shoutmon does NOT want to leave Akari alone here. His motivation here is completely selfish: just like in Island Zone, he wants to keep Akari safe.

That said, the teams form up relatively quickly and without his consent.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to decline.” Wisemon said. “I’d like to help Miss Sparrow out whenever possible.”

“Sounds like a plan then.” Lila grinned.

“But!” Shoutmon protested.

“All in favor?”Hephaestus asked.

“AYE!” everyone except Shoutmon agreed.

“All against?”

“NAY!” Shoutmon growled.

“The Aye’s have it!” Hephaestus said. “Let’s get a move on!”

AH, Hephaestus- he’s able to pull off things like this with style.

THE MONITA-FORT_ _ _|

A Shurimon bowed as he materialized from the shadows. “Lord Musyamon!”

“Yes?” The Samurai asked, eyes never leaving the TV monitor in front of him.

“As you know: Xros Heart arrived at the Monita-village a few hours ago.” The Ninja said. “They’ve sought help with the Wizardmon and the local Doctor for unknown reasons. Our Spies now report that they’ve formed a plan for gathering the Code Crown and have split their group apart in order to claim it.”

Musyamon mused on this for a few moments. “Send the Elite Ninjas to spy on them. If they get the Code Crown, steal it.”

“Yes, My Lord.” Shurimon bowed out. “It shall be done.”

We cut to the Bagura leader of this Zone for a little bit- at this point, believe it or not, we’re actually getting characterization for a future XH member!

THE FOREST_ _ _|

Taiki and the rest were following a Monitamon from the village, bright red in color as opposed to Nene’s elite green, who was carrying a rather large sea shell on his back. “Karatenmon secluded himself in the waterfalls near the edge of the Zone.” He was explaining. “The Journey back and forth is so straining that many lose their ability to perform.”

“I see.” Bastemon, riding on top of Lila’s shoulders, was writing things down on a note-pad. “What’s been done already?”

“Many things.” The Monitamon said. “We recorded them for posterity, if you’d like to see them.”

Lila laughed. “That’d be great!”

“So who set up the Code Crown’s defenses like this?” Shoutmon asked. “It seems like Laughing’s a pretty dumb thing to set it by.”

“It’s worked for Karatenmon, hasn’t it?” Terezie pointed out. “If you really keep yourself focused, you can suppress laughter pretty well.” She started swooshing her finger through the air. “If you get something that makes you laugh despite holding it in, they’re worthy!”

“I guess…” Shoutmon sighed, placing his hands behind his head. “Still seems stupid though.”

“Oh come on!” The Chessmon prodded. “You’d be all over it if Akari weren’t all kiddifyed.”

We cut back to Xros Heart- Laugh Division- for some discussion about the plot and such events.

“How did that happen anyways?” Nene whispered over to Taiki. “Nobody’s explained it to me yet.”

“The Shademon worked like we’d planned.” Taiki said. “It was going to die, and it created a distraction for me to escape.” he sighed. “But then it went down hill.”

“How so?” She asked.

He raised an eyebrow. “You really want to know?”

“Yes.” She nodded.

“Fine.” He shrugged. “The beast formed from the Xros of all those different Digimon was exactly what DarkKnightmon wanted.” he grimaced. “We played right into his hands. Even Hephaestus…”

“The Jerk got swallowed whole by Beat Mesa’s guardian, and he still managed to survive long enough to double mobius reach around that Kimeramon into Millenniummon.” The Denizen grumbled. “We almost brought about the end of the world… Again.”

“So he’s dead?” Nene asked.

“As dead as anyone could be when they get a giant drill through the chest.” Hephaestus rolled his eyes. “Grand Nine was a very interesting Xros, I’ll give Shoutmon that.”

“Nine Digimon?” Nene mused on the thought. “Hardly seems possible.”

Nene is inappropriately scaling things here. Remember, X4K is OVER 13 Digimon when counting individual components!

“Even more impressive is that he made it without even thinking!” Terezie entered into their conversation. “All I heard was a roar and then BAM!” She smashed her right fist into her other hand. “Chaosdramon got creamed!”

Shoutmon sighed. “I shouldn’t have even tried making it again, especially after it made everyone so tired afterwards.”

“We wouldn’t have won if you hadn’t.” Taiki pointed out. “Things happen for a reason, you know.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Shoutmon shrugged as easily as one could with one’s arms behind his head. “Still…”

“What got us this time was the Soul Resonance.” Taiki said. “We shouldn’t do something like that without something to channel the power uniformly, it drains everyone’s power.” He mused. “That might be why the Red Xros Loader gave out. I don’t think it has any kind of regulator in it…” And then, a thought hit him. “Wait a second.” He turned towards Lopmon, currently resting on Ballistamon’s shoulder along with Cutemon.

“Hm?” she looked up.

“Let me see the Xros Loader.” he asked for it.

“Sure.” Lopmon tossed it over.

Taiki lays it out like it is: What happened here was that the Red Xros Loader overloaded on the “Soul Resonance” of nine Digimon continually pouring more and more power into their attacks.

Saying this gives him an idea, however.

With relative ease, Taiki caught the device and pulled it open, as the screws on the back having been long since removed for easy access to the insides. “Let’s see here…”

“What are you thinking, exactly?”the Denizen asked.

“If I’m right…” Taiki smirked slightly as he spotted exactly what he was looking for. “Ahha! Anyone got a paper clip or a hair pin?”

While everyone else shrugged, it was Nene who came through, pulling a paper clip out of her coat pocket. “Here.”

“Thank you!” Taiki snatched it up and immediately went to work to bend it out straight. “I can’t believe we didn’t think of this sooner!” he tapped the paperclip against the frame of the Loader, then pushed it into a certain part of the Xros Loader’s circuit boards. With that done, he bridged it over to a second part of another board.

SPARK.

Everyone flinched as electricity sparked between the two boards. When it was sure to be done, Taiki pushed the Loader back together, making sure it stayed together by pressing down until the connections snapped into place, leaving the paperclip in place.

“Put the screws back in.” He tossed it over to Lopmon, who swiftly caught it, and began doing just that.

“What did you do, kyu?” Cutemon asked.

The boy simply taped his goggles with his index finger. “You’ll see.”

Taiki literally McGuyvers a regulator with a convenient paper clip which NENE SHOULD NOT HAVE. Remember- Her clothes were RECONSTRUCTED by Hephaestus at the end of the last arc. Her clothes should be BRAND NEW- IE: they shouldn’t have ANYTHING IN THEM!

The ONLY way this paper clip could be there is if a static storm put it there without her knowing!

A few moments of silent hiking later, and Lopmon tightened the last screw. “Okay. I’m done.”

Taiki grinned and took the Xros Loader back. “Now to test it…” He spun the dial, and spun it again, reversed. Then, after a few moments of silence, he pressed the enter button.

The Red Xros Loader’s screen began glowing with a bright green light, and…

The red coloring on the device faded away into pure white.

“What the heck!” Shoutmon’s eyes widened in horror.

“What did you do?” Lopmon gasped.

“I put it into safe mode.” Taiki said. “Like with a computer.”

“But what happened to it?” Shoutmon asked. “It changed colors!”

“That’s just the safe mode.” Taiki said. “Every electornic toy has had a Debugging program installed, that, if you bridge the circuit boards right while turning it on, you can access and use to modify the existing memory.”

This Debugging Program “Safe Mode” is something I’m making up right here- But I’m FAIRLY sure that it exists! On one of my Data Squad Data Link DIGIVICE toys, I managed to get into such an obscure screen setting after replacing the batteries. Whatever Taiki did here is probably a similar jump of electric current.

Lopmon just stared at the boy. “You know, I think I liked you better when you weren’t one of the Digital World’s guardians.”

“Hey, Don’t look at me.” the Denizen defended. “I don’t even know why the Xros Loaders even have that!” he turned his next question towards Taiki. “How did you even know how to do that anyways?”

He shrugged. “A kid in my class showed it to me once when her VPet got a jolt of static to it. The power circuit was broken due to the sudden increase in voltage, so she made a new circuit.”

“What’s a VPet?” Tailmon, who had been keeping quiet this whole time, whispered to Hangyomon, who simply shrugged in return.

“You’ve got me.” he said.

WAIT.

Tailmon is a human.

She should know what a VPet is.

Unless….

*Scribbles a mental note down*

Anyways– Taiki catches even HEPHAESTUS off guard with this stunt of his! The Denizen who MADE the Xros Loaders doesn’t know why they have “Safe Modes!”

As they walked, Taiki searched through the Xros Loader’s database to find out what was wrong with it. “Good news is.” he said as they approached a large cliff face. “The Code Crowns are still inside.”

“Whewf.” Shoutmon sighed in relief. “Great to know we didn’t just lose half of the progress we’ve made.”

“Bad news is.” Hephaestus continued. “They’re now locked inside of it’s memory vault which is now sealed by a password, for security during a crash.”

“It’s a good thing there wasn’t anyone inside then!” Lopmon said.

“Yeah.” Cutemon nodded.

“So what’s wrong with the thing then?” Hangyomon asked, stepping into the conversation for the first time in a while.

“Physically? Nothing.” Hephaestus said. “Not even in the programming. In fact, the ONLY Discreprency we can find is that some of it’s internal clock settings are twenty years fast.”

“Eh?” Everyone stopped at that, especialy Shoutmon.

“The clock’s ahead?” he asked.

“The ‘Time Since Activation’ clock is Twenty Years fast.” Taiki nodded. “Even weirder, since it says the original activation date is sometime next year.”

BOMBSHELL.

Also- I really need to go through and check the date/time consistency on this story. It just doesn’t add up in a lot of places.

“Lemme see…” Lopmon hopped over to the boy’s shoulder to oversee the screen. “Weird. It doesn’t usually say that.”

“Maybe the crash offset the dates?” Cutemon offered.

“Unlikely.” Hephaestus grumbled. “Look at the current time.”

“It’s today’s date.” Lopmon said. “How’s that work?”

“The Xros Loaders, when I designed them originally, were to draw upon the Digital World’s Local Clock.” the Denizen said.“They connect to the Digital World, find the current date, and update it accordingly. The ONLY way it could have the original activation date be from next year is if it actually was activated on that date!”

“So you’re saying Akari’s dad’s a time traveler?” Shoutmon asked.

Taiki frowned. “Twenty Years is a major difference of time, though.”

“I’m going to have to look at the other Xros Loaders’s Operating Systems.” Hephaestus grumbled. “Maybe updating to something newer might fix it?” they shrugged. “Doesn’t matter really. Once I boot up the Xros Loader proper, it should work fine again.”

But yes- the whole POINT of the Xros Loader dying out for this arc was SPECIFICALLY to show that Akari’s Xros Loader is a living PARADOX.

Quite the little spectacle, eh?

How nobody ever noticed this before is up to your minds for speculation.

Anyways: Back to Akari:

Akari felt very uncomfortable. Mostly it was due to her shrunken size, but part of it was the fact that Wizardmon and Sally were now discussing something in some other room and were leaving her out of it.

She fidgeted slightly. The Dreams she’d been having during the so called “Surgery” (if one could call lots of spell casting surgery.) were prophetic like they tended to be, and she could tell that they were related somehow to the one she’d had before they went to Jungle Zone.

As she sat there, Akari had to wonder why she had these dreams. Her father had said (in a memory she could no longer recall his face from) that it was just fate’s funny way of throwing a monkey wrench into the works of the universe. Her mother had said that everyone had these dreams, but most forgot them upon waking.

The simple fact of the matter was, some small part of her mind was always screaming that it wasn’t natural. That something had gifted this ability to her.

One word always came to the tip of her tongue. Something with an S… Something with five letters… She could practically hold the word in her hands, feel it’s shape… But just couldn’t read it.

Akari sighed. The Digital World was a strange place, And those born in it often had strange abilities that no normal human did. Then again, she wasn’t a normal human, now was she?

She reached up and touched the V crest that had formed on her head instead of in the form of a Hat, then sighed.

No. Humans born in the Digital World were Digimon just the same. Digimon could even turn into Humans with the aid of a simple spell. It wasn’t any surprise that she had a Digimon form, just that it wasn’t her default state, unlike most Digimon. Still…

That same part of her mind roared that these dreams weren’t natural.

With the fact that we have Time Storms- and now the introduction of the fact that Akari’s parents are time travelers- Akari’s mind, now mostly stable, is trying to figure out what her dreams are about.

In the history of the Digital World, there were those called “Seers.” Some, who saw potential reactions from individuals they knew closely, were called Seers of Mind. Others, who saw the outcome of everything- vague or not-, were called Seers of Time. But they were Seers nonetheless, and Seers were those whose abilities were definitely not natural.

No-one knew where these titles and abilities came from, only that they had emerged into the world at a time of great disaster, roughly twenty to twenty-five years ago. And when Akari had broached the subject with Babamon, Green Zone’s resident Witch, she had insisted they were not the same power, as her Dreams could be shared with those around her, and therefore she was not a Seer of any kind.

Akari stumbles upon the word she was trying to get a moment ago without even realizing it.

“Seers.”

Specifically, Akari is a SEER OF TIME– Besides the dreams, this Homestuck Game Title has NO BARING ON THE PLOT WHATSOEVER.

In fact, it has so much baring on the plot that ANY time a Homestuck Classpect appears in relation to a character is merely there to provide some insight to their character.

Still, she had to wonder.

But, wondering was for when time was idle, and idle time she no-longer had.

The Wizard had returned.

“Okay.” He said, sharing the same glimmering look of hope in his eyes with Sally. “We’re ready to re-apply the main spell now.”

“You haven’t already?” She asked.

“He’s been cleaning up the copied spell before.” Sally said. “You don’t remember, but we tried Casting it fresh already.”

“Oh.” Had she really been getting that bad?

“In any case.” Wizardmon began rolling up his sleeves. “Let’s get started!”

“Wait.” Akari protested. “Can I ask you something, first?”

“Hm?” the Wizard raised an eyebrow. “Sure. Go ahead.”

“Do you know anything about prophetic dreams?”

Akari’s memory is really screwed up still, however stable her mind might appear. Also, I don’t recall if this question has any baring on the plot at all.

Feel free to ignore it.

And so, skipping a rather long journey over a very stupid set of stairs (“I warned you bro. I told you dog!” Terezie called out as Hangyomon tripped over several large steps.) Our heroes emerged into the valley where Karatenmon sat underneath a waterfall, meditating. Karatenmon, as you may already know, was a bird man Digimon with a ninja theme. His name even has the word “Karate” in it, as well. And, wouldn’t it be like such a proud warrior that he already knew they were there? Despite his eyes being closed the entire time. “Approach.” he intoned as he finished up his meditation practice.

I had to make a stairs joke.

I just had to.

I’m sorry.

“Karatenmon.” The Monitamon Guide said. “He’s been the Code Crown’s owner for Five years straight now. If we can’t get him to laugh, then…!”

“Don’t worry.” Bastemon smiled a cat smile. “We’ll make him Laugh!”

“Loud Words, coming from such a small cat…” Karatenmon said as he stood up to his full height (almost as tall as the waterfall that he was sitting under!) to walk over towards them. “Let’s see if you can pull it off then.”

“Karatenmon!” Taiki bowed to the Warrior. “I’m Kudo, Taiki, General of Xros Heart, and one of the Goddesses Warriors.”

“Hmf.” Karatenmon huffed. “Unlikely. There have been no new recruits in years.”

“Ba’almon, from Dust Zone, personally claimed me to be a warrior.” Taiki said. “Even denying his own status as one in the process.”

“Ba’almon you say?” The bird digimon asked, chuckling. “That would be just like him.” With that said, Karatenmon’s size immediately shrunk down to a more normal level, so as he could look the boy in the eyes. “Tell me, how is he?”

“A Beelzebmon now, actually.” Taiki said with a smile. “The Statue glowed when he sacrificed himself to protect me and my friends from a Mugendramon, and he Evolved on the spot.”

“So he finally proved himself worthy.” Karatenmon nodded. “Good for him.” With the friendly conversation over with, he narrowed his eyes. “So then, Fellow Warrior of the Goddess, I take it you’re here to take the Code Crown?”

“We’ve been traveling Zones collecting Code Crowns.” Taiki explained. “But we have another reason for coming here. Shinobi Zone’s Princess…”

“I’ve heard.” Karatenmon said. “Captured and life threatened?”

“If you know, why haven’t you done anything?” Taiki asked.

“I wa bound to this land for as long as I have the Code Crown by it’s previous owner.” Karatenmon said. “And I cannot give the Code Crown unless I am genuinely laughing at something funny.” He smirked. “Should you make me laugh this day, I will be able to unseal myself from this valley and I will be glad to join you in the coming battle.”

Taiki smirked as well. “Let’s get started then.” He pulled out his Xros Loader. “Let’s Go!”

Taiki makes use of his knowledge of Karatenmon being a part of Beelzebmon’s order (He’s not the ONLY survivor! Yay!) to get on Karatenmon’s good side first before beginning his ‘opening act.’

*cue DigiXros!*

“Shoutmon and Jijimon! DIGIXROS!” Taiki threw his arm out, Xrossing the two Digimon together. “JIJISHOUTMON!”

The Result was an elderly Shoutmon with Jijimon’s robes, beard, and staff. “Gak!” He coughed. “What kind of a Xros is this!” he grumbled.

Karatenmon raised an eyebrow as the unstable Digi-Xros fell over onto it’s side. “Just…What is your game exactly?”

Taiki shrugged. “Mediocre opening act, really. The Princess is the real show.” Bastemon, who was staring at the annoyed Shoutmon and Jijimon Xros, jumped at this.

“Huh! What?”

“I see…” Karatenmon smirked. “And should you make me laugh with one of these?”

Another shrug.

Taiki came up with this one plain and simple. Hephaestus is facepalming inside their shared head.

*cue DigiXros!*

“Dondokomon and Shoutmon! DIGIXROS!” Taiki fused them together, resulting in a Dondokomon with a Shoutmon theme, right down to having mic stands in place of the normal drumsticks. “DONSHOUTMON!”

“DonDon!” DonShoutmon let loose a quick beat. “Man this is stupid.” he groaned.

Terezie stared. “Just…What…are you doing, Taiki?”

Shoutmon is NOT giving it his all with this- his mind’s still wandering back to Akari, really.

“Shoutmon and Pawnchessmon!” Taiki called out, much to the Lawyer in training’s dismay. “DIGI-XROS!”

“SHOUCHESSMON!”The new Xros called out as it pulled it’s visor down onto it’s nose… “OW!” Yes… The Xros was simply A PawnChessmon with Shoutmon’s nose and V Crest on the helmet, and Shoutmon’s tail, with the mic-stand replacing the PawnChessmon’s spear.

“I don’t like that one!” Tereize protested once they split back.

“Me either!” Shoutmon grumbled as he rubbed his nose.

Terezie and Shoutmon agree that that was a shitty Xros.

*cue Digi-Xros!*

“Shoutmon and Monitamon! DIGIXROS!” Taiki fused the Monitamon and Shoutmon together into a red Monitamon with Shoutmon accents. “SHONITAMON!”

Nada. Not even an eye roll.

*Cue Digi-Xros!*

“Cutemon and Shoutmon!” Taiki ordered. “DIGI-XROS!”

Cutemon’s ears straightened out into the ends of Shoutmon’s V crest, and his mouth became more jagged, and dragon like. Shoutmon gloves appeared on Cutemon’s hands, and his boots became clawed to match Shoutmon’s. TENGEN TOPPA: SHOUCUTEMON! KYU KYU!”Topping it all off was the brilliant Green aura that surrounded the Digimon’s new form.

Lopmon’s jaw dropped slightly. “That’s… Rather attractive, I’m scared to admit.”

Tailmon stared at the bunny. “Seriously?”

THIS IS A BRICK JOKE.

The brick has just been thrown into the air.

*cue DigiXros!*

“Bastemon and Tailmon! DIGI-XROS!”Taiki ordered.

Bastemon’s dual tails fused together into one of Tailmon’s, and her ears changed to match. Red hair flashed into purple, and rather angelic looking robes replaced the princess’ everyday clothes.

“ANGE-BASTEMON!”The dual cat-girl winked at Karatenmon, who rolled his eyes in response.

“Very amusing. But I’m not into that kind of stuff.”

Taiki shrugged. “Sometimes I can’t control what comes out. It’s up to the center of the Xros to decide the form.”

“Yup!” Lila said, grinning. “Remember when I xrossed with Lopmon and Hangyomon back in Island Zone? That was Aaaall Me! Hehe!”

Taiki grinned. “Thanks!”

She paled. “Uh oh.”

“Cutemon, Lopmon! Hangyomon, Lilymon!” Taiki ordered. “DIGI-XROS!”

And cue Xros-Dressing Joke in 3….2….

A Top hat popped into existence, and a rather nice over coat Plus Dress Suit appeared forming from Hangyomon. A flower dress materialized, in response to Lila, and the outfits dropped down onto their centers.

Lopmon got the fancy suit, and Cutemon got the dress.

“TAIKI!” Cutemon flushed as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re Mean!”

Lopmon giggled as she twirled around. “I dunno! I kinda like it!”

Shoutmon raised an eyebrow. “Really? Xros Dressing?”

“Stealth Pun!” Tailmon and Bastemon high fived, giggling all the way.

“I’m just glad Dorulumon isn’t here to see this…” Cutemon lamented as he de-xrossed with a very cross Lila.

“Taikiiii!” the flower girl growled, fists clenched.

*Coughs awkwardly*

Meanwhile, Dorulumon sneezed.

“Bless you?” Zenjirou asked.

“I suddenly feel like Cutemon went through something similar to what I did in Jungle Zone.” The wolf said.

“Eh?” Zenjirou blinked. “What?”

“Taiki Xrossed us with him, Brother!” Starmon said. “It wasn’t very fun for him!”

“SPiiiiiin!” a pickmon spun around and around, much like a drill or a helicopter blade.

“How mortifying.” Dorulumon grumbled. “I’m glad I didn’t go with them…”

Sneeze Joke.

I feel like I should say I over-use this, But I don’t think I do.

“If Dorulumon and the Starmonz had come, I bet the -cough-LOL-Dorulu-copter-Cough- would have made him laugh.” Shoutmon said through fake coughs.

Taiki shrugged. “We’ll see…” He pocketed his Xros Loader. “I’m done for now.”

“N’Gah.” Ballistamon said in response, relieved that the Xros he, Taiki, and Bastemon had planned had not been used.

Hangyomon went up on stage, to where Shoutmon had placed his Microphone to stand in for a Stage-mic. “Hello.” he waved. “Name’s Hangyomon, And I’m gonna give you all the worst rap in the history of paradox space!” Hangyomon smirked.

Due to the content of said rap, It has been removed to spare this author the trouble of digging up a copy of the “Worst Rap-Off in the History of Paradox Space” and putting it into this story.

We apologize for the inconvenience.

But, really. All he was doing was doing the Worst rap-off ever, with only himself, making it not so much of a rap-off and thus very confusing. Why would you want to read it?

Homestuck references don’t really work without a sounding board.

Shoutmon stepped up next. “So! I’m going to do some jokes now!” He grinned. “Why did the Locomon Xros the road?”

“To get to the other side?” Taiki guessed.

“So he could get off track!” Shoutmon started laughing, and, really, would you expect anyone else to laugh in this situation?

No. Didn’t think so.

“Geeze, tough crowd.” Shoutmon grumbled. “Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?” Lopmon asked.

“Blast.” Shoutmon replied.

“Blast who?” Cutemon asked.

“Blastmon that’s who!” Shoutmon grinned as he pulled off the best (the worst?) Blastmon impression he could, considering he’d never met the guy.

Admittedly, that got a few chuckles from Xros Heart, but nothing from Karatenmon.

Shoutmon’s starting to get into it…But not enough.

About ten more or so lame jokes later…


“I guess I need to work on my jokes.” Shoutmon grumbled as he stepped off stage.

Nene turned towards the Monitamon. “He’s a tough one to please.” She noted.

“Indeed.” The Monitamon nodded back. “He’s been subject to jokes and pranks and plays for the past few years! Nothing’s broken him since!”

She mused on this. “What did he do to make the old owner laugh?”

“He wore a dress and did a dance.” The Monitamon said, showing stock footage from the event on his monitor.

“Wow… That’s rather…” Nene began.

“Lame?” The Monitamon offered.

“Classic, actually.” She countered. “The routine itself, I mean… It’s straight out of something you’d see on…” somewhere, somewhen, a light bulb went off. “Oh!”

Nene gets an idea she paradoxically should NEVER have had.

“Hiii!” Bastemon bowed. “I’m Princess Bastemon, and I’m going to sing a song!”

“Sing?” Shoutmon asked. “Where does she think we are, Karaoke Zone?” He blinked. “Is there even really a Karaoke Zone to begin with?”

Bastemon took a deep breath… “Oh I hate a mously man who lacks a certain spark..!”

…And began singing in such a horrible, off-key way that it reminded someone of a young child trying to sing their favorite song despite the fact that their vocal chords could NOT reach the necessary notes.

And it was obvious by the way her ears were curling up that she was doing it on purpose.

Hey. What do you think this is? KARAOKE ZONE?

“Bring your knife and bubble that’ll never Bubble yeeeeeww! Oh Make ‘eeeer a member of the Midnight Meeeeeew! Oh make herrrrr…” one deep breath. “A member of the Midnight Crewww!” The Cheesy factor was topped off with VERY incorrect lyrics and an over the top, breathy, ending note. Completed with a (cherry on top) very over the top bow. “Thank you!”

Karatenmon clapped and smiled, as did everyone else, but, alas, he did not laugh, which everyone else had- And he had a VERY hard time keeping a straight face all throughout it. “That…That was very good!” he was lying through his teeth.

Taiki elbowed Shoutmon in the arm. “We’ve almost got him broken.”

“Perfect!” Shoutmon grinned. “One more over the top thing and we’ll have him beat!”

“Next up!” Tailmon said as she introduced the next act. “Lila and Nene!”

Bastemon is singing a cat-ized version of “I’m a Member of the Midnight Crew.”

She’s INTENTIONALLY taking the cat puns and incorrect lyrics up to 33.

The duo bowed as they stepped on stage. “We will now perform the act, ‘What’s for dinner?’ for your viewing pleasure!” they said in unison.

“Oh, this should be good.” Lopmon laughed.

Nene pulled over the Monitamon, and he began displaying recorded footage from some random Baseball game on his monitor. Nene began pretending to chop vegetables on an imaginary counter, while Lila stood off to the side, waiting for her cue.

“And He Hits it Out of the park!”the announcer from the video said as a sharp Crack occurred.

And there it was.

Lila walked onto the stage, putting on a goofy smile, and walking exaggeratedly. “Mommy!” she said, using a cheerful, young voice. “What’s for dinner?”

(Taiki and Shoutmon facepalmed.)

Nene, obviously playing the part of the mother, said “Who?”, in a “What Did you just say?” way.

(Karatenmon clamped his hands to his mouth.)

“What’s for dinner?” Lila repeated, slowly, carefully, as a question.

“Who’s on second?” Nene replied, turning around, putting on a happy smile. “What.”

(Cutemon paled. “They aren’t!)

This sequence makes absolutely no sense at all- and everyone knows it.

“I dunno!” Lila shrugged exaggeratedly. “That’s why I asked you!”

“What!” Nene said, shrugging as well.

(“They Are!” he winced.)

“And it’s a Home RUN!” the announcer continued.

“Who’s on third?” Lila asked, suddenly drawn over to the Monitamon.

“Where.” Nene asked.

“Third!” Lila said.

“Third’s in the left field.” Nene said.

“What?” Lila asked.

“What’s on second.” Nene said.

Seriously- what the hell are they even doing?

“Who?”

“No. What.”

“What?”

“What!”

“What What?”

“What’s on Second!” Nene said.

“But who’s on first?”

“Where.”

“First!”

“In the dugout!” With the confusion mounting, Nene lightly bonked Lila on the head.

“What!” And Lila returned the same.

Now, as they bantered, they were hitting each other.

This, as it turns out, was enough to make Karatenmon began laughing loudly. VERY Loudly.

Loud and proud, Karatenmon was now rolling on the ground with laughter.

The two girls grinned. They’d done it. They’d captured the Code Crown!

Whatever it is….it works on sheer absurdity.

And so, once Karatenmon got his laughter under control, he summoned the Code Crown for Shinobi Zone from the top of the waterfall he had been sitting under. “I believe you’ve earned this.” he said with a smile as he handed the Code Crown over to Nene.

“Thank you.” She began as she reached over for it…

Fwoosh.

Only for it to vanish from BOTH of their hands.

“What the!” Karatenmon turned around as the thief of the Code Crown began laughing.

“Ohhh Yeah Baby!” The man in a monkey suit…in a Ninja suit… laughed as he and his commrades (also Men in Monkey suits within Ninja suits) did a silly jig. “One Code Crown: Sneak stolen! Who’s da boss?”

“Uhh-huh-huh!” the so called ninjas chimed in. “A you are sir! Uhh-huh-huh!”

Shoutmon paled. “Who the heck are these monkeys?”

“Etemon.” Hangyomon growled, getting his harpoons ready. “Normally they just wear the monkey suits, though.”

“It’s a bit redundant!” Tailmon noted.

“HEY! We are not!” The Etemon gang protested.

“See? Redundant!” She snickered.

The Etemon brigade appear out of nowhere.

…I really have no clue what to make of them.

“Taiki!” Shoutmon got his Mic-stand read. “Get Ready for Xros Two!”

“Gotcha.” Taiki pulled out his Xros Loader.

“Lemme at ’em!” Bastemon punched her paws into each other.

“I wanna piece of them too!” Lila was rolling up her sleeves.

“Taiki.” Lopmon glanced over at him. “I really hate bad impersonations.”

“Right.” He nodded, and held up the Xros Loader.

And…

“DIGI-XROS!” And then, Taiki immediately turned around and began another Xros Sequence. “BALLISTAMON!”

“N’GAH!”the Beetle struck a pose.

“BASTEMON!”

“NYAH!”The Princess jumped into the air, striking a rather cute pose.

“DIGI-XROS!”

“DIGI-XROS!”Two sets of voices cried out as two distinct Digimon entered the field of battle.

Taiki…

But, debuting for the first time ever, was a Xros between Ballistamon and Bastemon.

Simply put: the new Digimon was Ballistamon, with a fully grown version of Bastemon’s arms, legs, head, tails, and dress code. In fact, the ONLY obvious traces of Ballistamon remaining were the Horn on her head, and the- considerably thinned- robotic torso.

“Bali…BASTEMON!”The voice emerging from the new Digimon sounded like Ballistamon attempting a high-pitched voice.

And failing.

Horribly.

Naturally, Shoutmon’s jaw hit the ground. “WRONG XROS TWO!” he face palmed. Twice. With both hands.

Makes the silliest Joke Xros Ever.

Of course, the Etemon’s attention was drawn immediately to X2LS, who, as you may or may not recall, was simply Lila wearing a scuba suit and having Turuiemon X2’s ears, horns, and swords.

*switch to We are Xros Heart!*

“Whooo-weee!” The lead Etemon whistled. “What a hottie!”

Every single monkey had hearts in their eyes. (I’m not kidding.)

Unfortunately (for them) BaliBastemon slid into view, summoning a rather large loudspeaker from Ballistamon’s chest area.“CAT…!” They began. “SPEAKER!”

Before anyone could prepare, a very, very, VERY loud “M33330000WWW!”blasted it’s way through the entirety of the Digital World.

In fact, in years past, a peculiar religion had prophesied a “Vast M30W” That would shatter the eardrums of those unfortunate enough to have it directed at them. Said religion, in due course, would be created by a follower of the religion in the present who- in a freak and totally isolated incident from the rest of our story and will NEVER EVER be brought up again what-so-ever (I’m being completely serious here. No Jokes. No Deceptions. Not even HALF Kidding.)- would some day be involved in an accident that sent them back in time to create their religion in the first place.

That’s right.

I just did a “Vast M30W” joke.

And lampshaded the time travel plot.

All in the same paragraph.

Completely seriously.

What the GLUB is wrong with me?

But I’m getting off track here.

The Point is, those poor, foolish Etemon- So called “Elite Ninjas”- had their eardrums and hearing faculties literally implode, throwing their hand-eye coordination off, and causing the leader of the group to drop the Code Crown.

Thus, X2LS got center stage.

“OCEAN CUTTER!”

…For all of the four point one-three seconds it took to slice their heads off in one clean strike.

Shoutmon, Karatenmon, Nene, and Tailmon stared at the damage caused by the “Cat Speaker” attack.

“Just what…” Shoutmon began.

“In the Digital World.” Tailmon continued.

“Neigh.” Karatenmon countered. “In the entire universe.”

“Was that?” Nene finished.

“Never doubt the power of LOLCAT!” Bastemon grinned as she patted the top of Ballistamon’s head.

Taiki shrugged. “It was one of the Joke Xrosses I was planning on using.”

“N’Gah.” Ballistamon simply said.

“Amen to that.” Terezie shook her head with a sigh.

“Taikiii!” Lila grinned as she walked back over to them, holding the Code Crown high in the air. “I think maybe you should hold onto this so no-more ninjas come along and steal it out of our hands!”

“Agreed.” Nene nodded. “Atleast your Xros Loader still works.”

“Hephae-er-I could try reseting it now.” Taiki offered.

“Not just yet.” She shook her head. “We’ll get Akari’s back to her before we try that.”

“Sounds fine to me.” Shoutmon said with a yawn. “Now can we get back? It’s almost sun down.”

“You’re right!” Tailmon gasped. “We need to get back to the village as soon as possible!”

Right. Now they have the Code Crown- and they’re going to go present it to Bagura!

“Next Time! Digimon Xros Wars! Swordsman’s Might! Zenjirou Vs. Mussyamon!”

“I Can’t turn my back on them!”

“Shoutmon!”

“Akari!”

“LET’S GO!”

Whoo- what an episodic title card.

KARAOKE TIME!

Togemogumon sighed as she took in a deep breath of the cold air of Karaoke Zone’s Night sky. She needed a break after all that ‘dancing’, if one could call it that, that Wisemon had put them through. She’d walked out to the road, and was on the other side of the building from where Dorulumon and Beelzebmon were.

So caught up in her relaxation, away from all the loud music and horrendous dancing, that she failed to notice the shadows, nor hear the footsteps, of Hearts Boxcar and Spades Slick walking up behind her.

Not until it was too late.

“MMMFH!” She cried out as a cloth coated in chloroform was placed over her mouth, and everything went black.

Yes. Konata did indeed just get kidnapped.

That’s it as far as plot goes. Lopmon sings a cutesey song, and the chapter ends.

 

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